Chapter 45: The Hatred That Returned from Hell

The two stood facing each other in silence, separated by a distance that felt far longer than it should have.

The World Will did not move. Her immense consciousness watched the entity bearing Elden Morven’s face, attempting to comprehend what stood before her - or, more precisely, to find an explanation that fit what she knew. She knew Elden well. She had observed his life, witnessed what he had endured, and understood the sheer volume of memories and experiences contained within that vessel. And yet, the entity standing before her was not the Elden she knew, despite retaining the same features and carrying something undeniably connected to the identity of the person she had chosen for this task.

Something was wrong. Something fundamental that she could neither ignore nor explain.

“Elden?”

The name left her lips cautiously. The entity raised its head, and its crimson eyes settled on her. It stared for a moment without appearing to consider whether it should answer. Then a slow smile began to spread across its face. It widened a little, then further, until the muscles in its face seemed to have forgotten their natural function. It became difficult to tell whether it was truly smiling or whether something else was attempting to imitate a human expression without remembering what one was supposed to look like.

It tilted its head to the right at an uncomfortable angle, then closed its left eye and opened it again before repeating the motion with its right. After a few moments, it raised both hands to the sides of its head and returned it to its normal position with a strange movement, much like someone trying to straighten the collar of a worn-out shirt they no longer remembered how to put on properly.

“Oh.”

It paused and stared at her again, tilting its head to the left before returning it to the right.

“Oh, oh, oh…”

Its body began to tremble. The shaking spread from its shoulders to its arms as its smile widened further. It was not the trembling of fear, nor did anything suggest that it was preparing to attack. Rather, it seemed to be making a desperate attempt to suppress an enormous laugh, one that had been building inside it for so long that its body could no longer contain it.

“You’re here.”

Its voice was warm, almost affectionate, despite the disturbing expression on its face.

“You’re really here.”

It took a step toward her. The darkness surrounding its feet shifted and flowed backward, as though something living were clearing the way for its master. Yet it did not continue approaching. Instead, it raised a finger in front of its face and examined it with the curiosity of a child discovering something new, ignoring the World Will for a few moments before looking up at her again, as though it had suddenly remembered why it had come.

“I was wondering…”

It stopped, its lips trembling slightly.

“I was wondering whether you were real.”

Then it burst out laughing.

The laughter began as a short chuckle, quickly turning into a series of irregular sounds that emerged from its throat before abruptly descending into dry gasps. The smile remained fixed upon its distorted features as black tears streamed from its eyes, evaporating before reaching its chin and leaving behind dark trails that disappeared into the smoke coiling around its body.

“Ha… haha… hah…”

It covered its mouth with one hand, attempting to regain its composure, then bowed slightly toward her as though it had committed a minor breach of etiquette during a polite conversation.

“Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

It raised its head, wiped away its tears with one hand, and sighed with exaggerated relief.

“It’s just funny.”

Its eyes settled on her. The smile remained on its face, but something in its gaze made the World Will feel that the laughter was nothing more than a thin veil concealing something she could not understand.

“Everything is funny.”

Its smile vanished abruptly.

It did not gradually fade, nor did its expression slowly change. It disappeared completely, as though its face had never known how to smile at all. It continued staring at her with rigid features before repeating in a quiet voice,

“Everything.”

Silence fell between them, and the World Will no longer wished to let it linger. She could observe him and attempt to analyze his behavior, but every additional moment gave him another opportunity to do something whose consequences she could not predict. His presence here had not been part of her calculations, and she had no idea what had happened to Elden for him to end up before her in this condition.

Nevertheless, she had to proceed cautiously. The power she possessed did not mean she knew everything, especially when confronted with a phenomenon she could not explain.

“What happened to you?”

The entity stared at her, blinked once, and made a faint sound deep in its throat, as though it were trying to taste the words before answering.

“Happened?”

It repeated the word slowly, then tilted its head slightly.

“What

do you mean, happened? Do you mean that thing you did to me? Or that thing I did to myself? Or that thing I did to myself because you did that thing to me that made me do the thing I did?”

It stopped and stared into the empty space before it. Its smile gradually began to return.

“Wait.”

It raised both hands to the sides of its head.

“Wait, wait, wait…”

Its fingers began clawing violently at the skin of its face until the flesh split beneath its nails, revealing lines of dark blood. Yet it did not pull away, nor did it appear to feel any pain or even realize that it was hurting itself. Its attention was entirely elsewhere, as though her question had opened a door inside its mind, and countless things had begun pouring through the moment it swung open, things it could no longer stop.

“I remember…”

His fingers stopped moving for a moment, then resumed scratching his face slowly as his voice sank into a troubled whisper.

“I remember everything.”

His hands finally lowered, lingering near his face for a moment before falling to his sides. This time, no laughter accompanied his words, and he made no attempt to hide the turmoil within him behind his usual smile.

“Every fucking life.”

The World Will was not certain what it meant. She knew Elden had lived through countless lives, and that the accumulation of those experiences had left an enormous imprint on his consciousness. However, she had believed those lives had merged into his new existence, their memories becoming part of a greater whole rather than remaining separate recollections that their owner could summon one after another.

This entity, however, spoke as though it had never forgotten a single thing, as though everything it had experienced remained present within it, piled upon itself without any part losing its ability to affect it.

That made no sense.

The vessel called Elden and the thing standing before her, insisting that it was Elden, were two different existences. She could sense that clearly, even if she could not understand how two distinct beings could share the same memories.

“I was deceived…”

The words emerged in fragments, separated by long pauses, as though it were searching for an appropriate order for thoughts that no longer accepted being arranged.

“A life repeating over and over again… A life that never ends… Countless times.”

Its lips trembled, and it let out a quiet laugh that never reached its eyes.

“I was alone.”

Silence settled for a moment before it continued, its voice growing increasingly agitated.

“Emotions that never stop. Sensations like a flood… Everything continues, everything repeats, and nothing ever truly ends.”

Its crimson eyes widened, and it leaned forward as though trying to draw closer to her without taking another step.

“I was in hell.”

The words came out with an unsettling calmness. Then its expression twisted, and a long burst of laughter escaped its throat.

“A hell that refuses to stop. A hell made of life ! Haha....hahah...hahahahah!”

It laughed for a few moments, then stopped as though it had suddenly remembered that it ought to behave more politely. With a mockingly sorrowful sigh, it placed a hand over its chest and looked at the World Will with a courteous smile that did not fit the words it had just spoken.

“Ah, but I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

She did not answer. She had nothing to add to this conversation, and she was not even certain that listening to him would lead her toward a useful answer. Still, silence was not necessarily a bad choice. As long as he continued talking, she could carry on with what she had started.

Her consciousness was still flowing into the vessel, gathering from distant corners of the world and streaming toward the center of Elden’s existence. The entity before her was neither vast nor dense enough to fill that center or halt the merging process merely by being present. However, it was entirely unknown to her, and she had no idea what it was capable of. It would therefore be unwise to give it a reason to act before she understood the nature of the danger it posed.

She needed time, and he was giving it to her without realizing it—or perhaps he realized it and simply did not care.

“Honestly, I didn’t have anyone to talk to.”

For one brief moment, his voice sounded so sincere that the statement became more unsettling than it would have been had he delivered it while laughing. There was no obvious mockery in his tone. He seemed to be stating an ordinary fact, something he no longer saw any reason to conceal.

But the expression did not last. His smile widened again, and he tilted his head slightly before adding,

“But do you know what the stupid part is?”

He did not wait for an answer, and the World Will doubted he had expected one in the first place.

“I tried.”

He said it with terrifying simplicity, and his body became still for a moment, as though only the words themselves remained alive within him.

“My God, I really tried.”

He raised a trembl

ing finger and pointed at his chest, where his heart should have been.

“I tried to be good. I tried to be better. I tried to find meaning in all this bullshit they call life. I searched for a reason, a purpose, just one thing that could make all that pain worth enduring.”

His voice caught in his throat. The hand remained pressed against his chest, but the smile had disappeared.

“And I found nothing.”

He raised his eyes to her.

“Nothing.”

This was not the bitterness of someone who had lost hope after one or two failed attempts, nor the disappointment of someone who had discovered that the world was less fair than he had imagined. It ran far deeper than that. It was the bitterness of someone who had spent an eternity searching for a door, only to discover that the very concept of doors had been nothing more than a trick devised by jailers to convince their prisoners that another place existed to which they could escape.

“So I stopped searching.”

He straightened, wiped the blood from his face with the back of his hand, and looked at her as though he had finished discussing something that no longer deserved his attention.

“And I started looking for something else.”

The World Will remained silent. She had no intention of giving him the answer he seemed to be waiting for, if he was waiting for anything at all, but she needed to understand what was going through his mind. His words revealed fragments of his condition, yet those fragments were insufficient to form a coherent picture. Every time she thought she was beginning to understand him, he did or said something that made her previous interpretation seem incomplete.

After a moment, she asked, “What is it?”

He turned toward her, and the wide smile returned to his face. His crimson eyes fixed on her with such intensity that his features seemed as though several different faces were struggling to occupy the same skull, none of them able to agree on the expression they should wear.

“The reason things keep going.”

He said nothing more at first, allowing the words to hang between them. Then he began to walk slowly around her, his hands clasped behind his back. His steps were calm, almost leisurely, as though he were contemplating a question he had encountered during an ordinary stroll rather than a problem he had spent an inconceivable amount of time trying to solve.

“Everyone wants to survive, don't they?”

He did not look at her as he spoke. Instead, he raised his head slightly, following something that did not exist in the surrounding darkness.

“They wake up in the morning, even though they know tomorrow might not be any better than yesterday. They face pain, endure loss, then return the next day and do the same thing all over again, as though simply continuing to move will somehow make all of it acceptable in the end.”

He paused, then let out a short laugh.

“Why? Why do they cling to life when life itself is the thing tormenting them? Why don't they just die and let me rest?”

He continued walking until he was behind her, then tilted his head to the side, trying to look at her face from a different angle.

“Why do they fight? Why do they hope? Why do they raise their eyes to the sky and beg something that might not even hear them, only to thank it when a fortunate coincidence occurs?”

The World Will did not answer, so he continued without appearing bothered by her silence.

“And why do they keep wanting to live?”

The questions seemed simple on the surface, but the way he asked them made them sound like accusations directed at the entire world. He was not searching for a philosophical answer, nor was he waiting for an explanation of the nature of life or the instinct to survive. He seemed to have moved beyond the desire to understand such things a very long time ago.

What remained within him now was something else, something that had turned the question itself into a source of anger.

He returned to stand before her and stared into her face as though trying to recover a distant memory.

“I thought about it for a long time. A very long time.”

He placed a hand over his chest, pressing his fingers against the spot where his heart should have been.

“And the more I thought about it, the more I hated them.”

He lowered his hand slightly and continued in a calm voice.

“Then I hated myself for hating them.”

He paused, and a small smile appeared on his face, as though he had found something worthy of ridicule in his own confession.

“Then I hated myself for still being capable of feeling hatred.”

He leaned forward and stared at her from beneath his brows.

“Then I hated hatred itself.”

He did not move afterward. He did not laugh, distort his features, or attempt to turn his words into a joke. When he spoke again, his voice was perfectly clear, free from the trembling that had ac

companied his earlier speech.

“And now I hate everything.”

He did not raise his voice or shout, nor did he show any desire to force his words upon her through intimidation. Nevertheless, the World Will felt a deep revulsion as she looked at him. It was not merely the hatred itself. It was as though she stood before a consequence that could not be traced back to a single cause, no matter how thoroughly she tried to dissect it.

An enemy who wanted to destroy her would have been easier to deal with, as would an entity seeking to rule the world. No matter how dangerous such ambitions became, they could still be understood and placed within a framework of causes and consequences. But she was not even certain that this thing wanted anything she could name. It spoke of life, death, and hatred, yet it did not seem to be defending an idea or trying to prove a truth. It was as though it had reached a place where these concepts no longer carried the meanings that other beings had grown accustomed to.

Even so, she did not interrupt him. She continued watching him, allowing her consciousness to flow into the vessel and making use of every moment his conversation afforded her. His existence resembled fragments of a former consciousness gathered into a single form, but that resemblance offered no sufficient explanation. He was not merely what remained of Elden, and she could not confidently claim that he was Elden himself simply because he possessed his memories.

All she knew was that his appearance had thrown her plan into disarray at the very moment it was approaching completion.

She could not afford a mistake.

“You are not Elden.”

She finally said it after reaching a conclusion she could not fully prove, but could no longer ignore.

The entity stopped moving.

For a single moment, it seemed as though the entire world had pressed a pause button. Even the black smoke surrounding its body appeared motionless. Then it blinked and looked at her in unmistakable confusion.

“Huh?”

It waited a little before pointing at itself.

“What? But I am Elden.”

It tilted its head, seemingly trying to understand why she would say something so simple. Then its eyes suddenly widened, and it clapped once. The sound was faint, but he seemed delighted by a discovery that had never occurred to him before.

“Ah, now I understand.”

He began laughing under his breath, then bent forward slightly, shaking his head.

“You don't know who I am.”

“What a problem.”

“And that's frightening, isn't it?”

She did not answer. He raised his eyebrows as though surprised by her silence, then suddenly laughed and slapped the ground with his palm.

“Oh, of course it's frightening!”

He rose halfway to his feet and spread his arms in a theatrical gesture, staring at her with eyes that gleamed with unnatural excitement.

“You, my dear, are the Will of the World! You are the one who knows how things work. You can read the laws of existence as easily as a child reads a picture book. You can explain death, life, the soul, causality, and destiny!”

His smile widened, and his voice suddenly dropped, as though he were about to reveal a secret of tremendous importance.

“But I am here.”

He continued staring at her before extending a finger in her direction.

“And you cannot explain why I am here.”

The World Will did not need him to tell her that. She knew the limits of her knowledge and understood that his existence represented an anomaly whose origin she had been unable to identify. Yet hearing the truth spoken aloud made it even more unsettling. He did not speak as though he were trying to conceal the truth or mislead her about it. Instead, he seemed to take genuine pleasure in her inability to understand him, as though her ignorance of his existence were the only thing he had found truly amusing.

Elden brushed imaginary dust from his tattered clothes before facing her at his full height. The chaos that had animated his movements receded slightly, and his crimson eyes settled on her with greater focus. His smile did not disappear, but it became less frivolous, as though something had been waiting behind it for the right moment to emerge.

“Open your eyes and look at me.”

He stepped closer and raised his chin slightly.

“Look at me, my dear. I am Elden Morven.”

He paused, and his smile widened again.

“Elden Morven, who never gives up. Elden, who returned from the hell of life to see you.”

The statement was not merely a boast of strength, nor was it an attempt to convince her that he was still the person she had known. Something far more unsettling lay within it: an insistence that rested on no logic she could understand, as though this entity, despite everything it had lost or everything that had shattered inside it, still clung to its name as though it were the last thing the world had been unable to take from him.

But Elden did not stop there.

Many things had broken within him, and his suffering had surpassed the limits of what the mind could comp

rehend. Yet his will had continued moving even after it lost the reasons that had once made movement possible. That did not mean he had emerged from his suffering unharmed, nor that he had finally discovered a meaning that justified everything he had endured. Rather, whatever remained of him seemed to have arrived at an entirely different conclusion.

He no longer saw life merely as a cruel place that had to be endured. Instead, its continued existence itself struck him as ridiculous, a terrible joke that never ended, no matter how long one waited for the punchline.

And if everyone insisted on continuing that joke, he had begun to believe that the problem no longer lay solely in his own suffering. It lay in their insistence on remaining trapped within it, acting as though there were some reason that made all of it worth continuing.

The World Will was not facing someone who had emerged victorious from hell, nor a survivor bearing scars and hoping to recover from them. She was facing something else entirely: fragments of a consciousness that had refused to surrender and continued moving even after losing everything that had once given its movement a clear purpose.

A loathsome obsession that needed no reason to continue and showed no willingness to stop simply because every reason had run out.

“Do you know what I want?”

The World Will did not answer. She had realized that talking to him would not follow any course she could anticipate, and that any answer she gave might become an excuse for him to continue something whose purpose she did not understand. Yet ignoring him was no guaranteed solution either, particularly now that he was speaking to her as though he knew more about her plan than he should.

Elden smiled before speaking.

“I want to see what happens when you fail.”

His eyes widened, and his voice rose slightly, not with anger but with an excitement that seemed to have returned to him all at once.

“Not when you die. Death is boring. And not when you collapse, because collapse is ultimately just a predictable response to pressure.”

He pointed at her with a trembling finger, then tilted his head until his smile was level with her eyes.

“I want to see you despair as you watch everything you wanted to protect crumble before your eyes.”

Silence fell between them for a moment.

Then Elden stepped back and examined her as though he were beginning an entirely new conversation.

“Now then… let's start over.”

He tilted his head slightly, and the calm tone returned to his voice, at odds with his expression.

“You want a body.”

The World Will's expression remained unchanged, but her wariness deepened. It was not a difficult conclusion to reach, given what was happening inside Elden. Nevertheless, hearing it spoken aloud made her realize that his words were not merely random rambling, as she had wanted to believe.

He pointed at himself and let out a short laugh.

“And you need time to get it.”

There was no surprise in his voice, as though he had known this from the beginning. Then he added with a broad smile,

“What a wonderful coincidence.”

The World Will retreated slightly, attempting to create some distance between them, but the movement did nothing to make her feel safer. She did not know how much he understood about what was happening, nor how he had acquired that knowledge. She could not even determine whether he was speaking about her plan because he had actually discovered it or because he knew something far deeper than she imagined.

All she knew was that she could not allow him to come any closer.

Elden, meanwhile, leaned toward her and peered into the depths of her consciousness, as though trying to see something small moving behind her eyes. His smile remained fixed, but when he spoke again, his voice was so calm that the question sounded more like a threat that needed no raised voice to make itself heard.

“Now, tell me…”

He paused, allowing the silence to stretch between them, then continued.

“Do you think I'll let you take it?”